Tenacious grace

“And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t.  I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.” Romans 7:18-19

“For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.” Philippians 2:13

Envy: a feeling of discontented longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities, or circumstances

My Abba,

I sit in your presence today painfully aware of my sinful nature. I realize I have wrestled with envy (among other things) this week. Please forgive me.

Thank you that you care enough to bring my shortcomings to my attention. I don’t want to sit unknowingly in my swamp. I know ingratitude is lurking in the shadows of my heart nourishing this feeling of discontentment.

When I am not thankful for you and your grace gifts, envy bristles. I know if I were focusing on your supernatural provision, I would never offer envy fertile ground to flourish in my heart. I can lose my way if I don’t hold living for your glory as my highest priority. I begin rubbernecking, and decide someone else’s path is blatantly superior to mine.

Another reason I think envy can breed, is that I don’t see my neighbor’s entire stable of circumstances. I look only at those slick, beautiful steeds they tout on social media. I don’t remember they have manure in their barns to muck, just like I do.

Thank you that you have made a way for me to be consistently restored in my connection with you. I receive your forgiveness. Thank you for your tenacious grace that pursues me and welcomes me back into your embrace.

I am hopeless apart from you. I cannot sustain right choices in my own strength. I seem to do well for a time, and then I unwittingly (or willfully) swerve into our enemy’s potholes. I do the very things I don’t want to do. And I can usually rationalize exactly why I should do them.

I want to make you my first reach every time I am at the decision crossroads. But many times, I “forget” you and your power when I am choosing. Please give me a deeper dedication to following your compass. Please give me a strong sense of joy as I draw near to you today. I want to walk each day in harmony with your love song for my life.

Thank you for the sacred symphony that awaits me. Thank you for your grace and faithfulness. You are my only hope!

I love you,

Mollie

My child,

As you can see, my joyful embrace is here for you, no matter how you have failed. I am not overwhelmed by your sin. Even when you behave foolishly, you cannot thwart me. I made a way for you to be with me that is fool proof.

Our relationship never depends on your success in the fight against sin. My plan is all about my provision.

I give you the desire to do what I want. But I don’t leave it at that. I also offer you the power to do what pleases me.

It is good that you sense your desperate need for my strength, righteousness, and wisdom. Your own resources are limited. Like weak crutches, they will not reliably hold you up.

Just come and agree with me about your sin and accept my forgiveness so that we don’t have parched places in our relationship. I know you. You desire a more profound connection.

You are going to make bad choices, at times. But, by the power of my Spirit, I can make your return to me increasingly more rapid. I know how you dislike those empty places.

When you focus on my glory, you are freed from “plan envy.” Then, no possessions, qualities, or circumstances will arouse discontented longing in you.

Fix your gaze on me and live for my glory. I will show you true contentment no one, and nothing, can steal.

I love you,

Abba

photo: p. klimenko

NLT