In sickness and in health

"A man with leprosy came and knelt in front of Jesus, begging to be healed. ‘If you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean,’ he said. Moved with compassion, Jesus reached out and touched him. ‘I am willing,’ he said. ‘Be healed!’ Instantly the leprosy disappeared, and the man was healed.” Mark 1:40-42

My child,

I understand this passage is difficult for you. For years, I have heard you, and so many others, cry out for healing. I realize you are worn out with the obstinate thorn of illness.

Although I did heal you from cancer, I still allow you to struggle with other health challenges. You know I am able to provide the lightning cure for all that ails you. I created you. I could recreate you – without a single malady.  And yet, I have not done so.

My heart longs for your complete healing and one day it will come. When we see each other face to face, you will be disease free and perfectly whole. My compassion for you in the midst of your suffering is immeasurable and unceasing, even when I don’t give you the immediate remedy you desire.

I do not ignore your pain. You are not overlooked. But right now in this brief moment you have on earth, I have chosen not to heal you from all of your infirmities. Instead, I allow my glory to shine through the fractured places of your weakness, frailties, and sickness.

You have become a convincing affirmation of my power to captivate the human heart, as I sustain you with my grace, truth and love. In the midst of your affliction, you often choose to enjoy the supernatural pleasure of my presence that eclipses your suffering.

That is my remarkable gift to you that can never be taken away. Let the beauty of my Spirit sustain you again today, and every day, in sickness and in health.

I love you,

Abba

My Abba,

You have helped me see I am not just time bound and earth bound, but “body bound” right now. My desire for physical well-being can consume me, at times.

You know I have knelt, begged, and spoken the words, “If you are willing, you can heal me.” Sometimes you have healed me. Sometimes you have not.

Like the man Mark describes, I want immediate relief from my suffering. Christ healed a lot of people instantly and completely during his time on earth. Of course, I desire that kind of intervention. I do not like to suffer.

But the absence of physical healing today is not really what makes me cry. I realize my tears are a response to the beauty of your presence – your magnificence in the midst of my pain. You are perfectly glorious. Just a glimpse of you delights my heart, mind and soul in a way nothing else can.

I think if I could see all the stunning resources you invest in my eternal spiritual health, I would not be as disheartened by the absence of a swift and complete solution for my temporal physical health. I know you are far more devoted to my eternal well-being than I am. Please transform my short-sighted earth eyes, so I have a trustworthy view of my forever path with you.

I would not trade this supernatural joy you give me for perfect physical health or anything else. I am yours. Please make use of my life in the way that best imparts your life and light to others.

Please continue to draw me into the deep, refreshing waters of your grace today. Submerge me in your beauty, in sickness and in health.

I love you,

Mollie

photo: m.evdokimov

NLT