misplaced crowns

 “Then I pray to you, O Lord. I say, ‘You are my place of refuge. You are all I really want in life.’”  Psalm 142:5

“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.” Psalm 37:4

“Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.” Luke 12:34

Want: to have a desire, hope or wish

Origin: verb from Old Norse vanta “to be lacking.”

The original notion of “lack” was early extended to “need,” and from this developed the sense of “desire.”

Desire: a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen 

My Abba,

I like the origin of the word “want.” When I feel lack, I want something to satisfy that feeling of lack or need. I am sometimes amazed, though, by how many faulty ways I wrestle with my sense of lack. 

When I want something that is not good for me (not of you), I am often deceived about my true desire and/or the way to meet it. I may settle for less than your matchless best. I can turn to questionable strategies.

 If I want comfort, sometimes I eat –  even when I am not truly hungry. If I want peace, I may try to distract myself from the chaos of life with organizing and cleaning. If I want to feel loved, I can morph into a people pleaser and feed on human approval. If I am restless, I may look for an adventure or, at least, a change of circumstances.

I realize food, order, love, adventure and change can be good gifts when they are your provision and I enjoy them with you. But at times, I deify them when I obsess over the gifts and not you, the Giver. Those misplaced crowns never fit on the brows of people, places or things.

It has felt unsafe for most of my life to allow any desire (healthy or not) to take root. When it would crop up, I did my best to distract myself from it. Let someone else redefine it. Choke or crowd it out. Starve it into some pale, unhealthy version of its true self. Thank you for cutting in on this desire death-dance. I could not have stepped away on my own.

At the deepest level, you are all I really want in life. Who you are and what you create is ideal, peerless, and perfect. Only you can satisfy the deepest yearnings of my spirit, mind, body and soul.

I now see myself actually enjoying good things with you as you satisfy my desires. Since you are the author and artist of all good gifts, I think that is the ultimate way to enjoy what is good.

I love you,

Mollie

My child,

I am glad you are contemplating desire. I want you to enjoy me and all the good gifts I provide. 

Desire can be beautiful. I am perfect desire. I want you to be truthful with others and me concerning your desire. I want you to bring your desire to me.

When it needs some refinement, I will help you clarify or purify it. There are times when your presenting desire is a distraction from your deepest, true desire. I can give you wisdom to look past the shallows where your want may be obscured in muddy water.

When you want comfort, I am the one who can fill that hollow ache in your belly. When you want peace, remember I am the Author of peace and can provide you a respite in the eye of any storm.

When you want to feel more cherished in a human relationship, your deepest desire is to sense the fullness of my love. Come to me. No human relationship will satisfy you the way I can. Allow me to deepen your sense of my love for you.

And when you feel restless, remember I am the ultimate adventure. Perfect terrain, breathtaking views, and endlessly exciting!

There will be times when you want something that will not be in your best interest, but you won’t realize it. And there are other times you will want something that is good, but I need you to wait. Timing can be important.

The reality is this: some desires will not be fulfilled during your life on earth. But when you see me face-to-face, all desire will be eternally perfected and utterly fulfilled.

I love you,

Abba

photo: tomertu

NLT