limping Home

“In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.” 1 Peter 1:6

My Abba,

I need your grace to breathe. My “grief in all kinds of trials” is howling plaintively about the struggle. I acknowledge the pain. I realize I can’t bring sorrow to you that I refuse to admit is harassing me and threatening my joy. As I face the reality of my adversity, I am desperate for you.

Apart from you, my joy shrivels. I know this has always been true, but as time passes, I have become exquisitely sensitive to that reality. The more my powerlessness is unmasked, the more obvious my need for your power becomes.

I know you see my life as a morning mist. Here this morning and gone this afternoon. But when I am in enough pain, seconds can feel like hours. Days feel like months. This life does not feel like “a little while.”

Please let me experience your perfect grace, whether I have blistered feet and sand in my teeth trudging through a scorching desert, or I am enjoying a cool summer breeze as I float down a sparkling mountain stream. You are glorious no matter where I am. I know it is an honor to carry that glory in some small way, even if I limp all the way to heaven.

Please strengthen me with your endless comfort, love and peace. I want to delight in your presence today. I want my life to reflect you in a way that draws fellow travelers to you, no matter what the terrain might be.

I love you,

Mollie

My child,

Sometimes you feel like you will crumble under the weight of your physical and emotional challenges. I know you are weary of the pain, illness, and fatigue.

But even when I don’t give you a free pass on pain, I am eternally committed to you. I made my home in you. Our spirits are inextricably knitted together. I am holding you, even, when you feel you are free falling into a bottomless chasm spiked with trials.

You have the privilege of living life with a limp. You can choose to live in a way that demonstrates I am more than enough to sustain you. Your story carries weight with those who know you because they realize life has not been a leisurely stroll at the seashore for you.

Your trials give you more opportunities to share how my power sustains you. If you had spent all of your days traversing powder puff trails, how could you share the ways I have carried you through the valley of the shadow of death?

You have fresh opportunities each day to be a conduit of my love, power, grace and forgiveness. I, the God of the Universe, chose you to be an image bearer of my glory. I will continue to show you what a matchless honor that is. Revel in my grace and love as we share this adventure together today.

I love you,

Abba

Photo: rdonar