prayerful and proactive

 “But we prayed to our God and guarded the city day and night to protect ourselves.” “When you hear the blast of the trumpet, rush to wherever it is sounding. Then our God will fight for us!” Nehemiah 4:9, 20

My Abba,

When I read the book of Nehemiah today, these two verses stood out. I love how they show both dependence and action.

As your people faithfully rebuilt the wall around Jerusalem and faced threats from their enemies, it seems they were both prayerful and proactive. Their protection was something in which they participated. It doesn’t sound like they expected endless peaceful evenings safely snuggling in robes and slippers in front of cozy fires, sipping fig cider, and cheering you on to victory.

They requested protection from you and guarded their city day and night. They rushed toward the trumpet blast and trusted you to fight for them.

Reading this today reminds me I need more practice at being prayerful and proactive. In my formative years, I didn’t talk to you because I didn’t know you. I stayed disconnected from myself because of the pain of abuse I could not escape. I believed early on I could not make a difference in my story. Guarding my city (protecting myself) was impossible. I could not fight. I could not flee. I had only two options – pleasing or freezing. Now I do have choices. My rag doll strategy is not necessary or helpful anymore. I want to pray and act.

As Parkinson’s disease diminishes my physical and cognitive skills, my dependence on you increases. But, still, you don’t magically place the words on the page. You empower me to think, breathe, create, write, and perform a thousand other crucial functions. But I still have to choose to connect with you, sit at the computer, meditate on the passage, and type the words. You give me the choice to participate or not.

Sometimes when people say things like, “Let go and let God,” it sounds to me like they are suggesting we just sit paralyzed in our puddles while we “let” you do everything for our world and us. That popular phrase only resonates with me, if it means trusting you to change something I can’t. Appreciating your power and my need for it. Recognizing you are ultimately the one in control of the universe. Acknowledging you, my Creator, as truly the only one who should be in charge of my life.

Please show me how to partner with you today in my little corner of the galaxy. I know you don’t need my help, but thank you for empowering me to participate.

I love you,

Mollie

My child, 

Being prayerful and proactive is especially transformative for you. Because of your history, you have swayed between taking charge in your own strength and being utterly immobilized. Neither of those options are my best for you.

I want to empower you in your weakness to walk with me. I want to give you everything you need to make a difference in this world. I want to liberate your heart so I can show my love to others through you. I want to equip you to soar on the currents of my grace, truth and love.

You are not my lifeless puppet. You have choices. Through my Spirit, you can move while at rest, take action and be still. You are not trapped without options. And I have not left you to take care of things on your own. Ask and act. If you are willing, I can give you the power to live prayerfully and proactively.

I love you,

Abba

photo: gracel21