relaxing clenched fists

"The man replied, 'I've obeyed all these commandments since I was young.' When Jesus heard his answer, he said, 'There is still one thing you haven't done. Sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.' But when the man heard this he became very sad, for he was very rich." Luke 18:21-23

My Abba,

As I meditated on this passage, I wondered what would be considered “very rich” in our world today? The answer I found makes me recognize how numb I am to the wealth I wade in. It appears that an average median household income worldwide is about $10,000.  Although the statistics I found are a few years old, they are still convicting.

In light of this sobering reality, I started noticing the extravagant ways I live as a "very rich" woman. I used running water this morning - hot and cold. I have indoor plumbing with a functional toilet, shower, and dishwasher. I didn't have to build a fire to cook my breakfast this morning. I had access to healthy food I took out of a refrigerator, which kept it from spoiling overnight. 

Rain does not leak through my roof. The temperature inside my home is pleasant because I have a heating and cooling system. My washing machine is laboring for me while I type on my computer.

So how is it that I still wrestle, at times, to surrender discontentment to you? That embarrasses me. I want to think I am too spiritual to struggle with materialism. I want to believe I am clearly more committed to treasure in heaven than on earth. But how would I feel if you asked me to sell everything and give the profit away? Like the man in this passage, would I be distraught because I believe my possessions make me happy?

I have to admit I am wiggling a bit under the weight of these questions. Please give me a grateful heart for all your provision today. Spiritually. Emotionally. Physically. I want my heart to be content - like yours.

I love you,

Mollie

My child,

The first step to having the freedom to lay down what you desire is to actually recognize what you desire. You cannot experience my contentment by pretending or burying desire.

It has taken you some time (and healing) to get here. You can't relinquish the wants you don't know you have. Realizing your desire is a healthy step. I want you to acknowledge your desire and then honestly release it to me. If it is eternally useful, I can keep it in your life. If not, why would you want to hang on to something that will fill your tiny hands with what is perishable and fleeting?

I did not create you to clutch earthly things. Clenched fists will leave you with cramped hands. And many times, you will destroy what you seize in your hungry grip. What you envision as the perfect possessions will never give you the joy you can experience participating with me in my plans and purposes.

Keep your hands relaxed and wide open. I will fill them with unimaginable treasure that will never fade or fail.

I love you,

Abba

photo: stillfx